Maybe it was because of all the Cinderella stories she has read; maybe because I get irritated when asked to clean; maybe because she just doesn't like cleaning, she would get really upset about having to tidy. And she would cry while she was doing it. She felt like it was a punishment!
After reading a book called The Unprocessed Child: Living Without School by Valerie Fitzenreiter about three weeks ago or so, I decided to stop making Zorah clean her room. I told her that if her room being messy didn't bother her, then she could keep it that way because it was her room. I added that she would still have to clean up any of her stuff in the kitchen (our one public area).
A few times I asked her if the mess was bothering her. It hasn't been, but it was bothering me, so I asked her if it were okay for me to clean her room. She didn't mind, so I cleaned and swept in there once. A few times I have suggested to her that she clear off her bed a few minutes before bedtime so she has a place to lie down. That is met without complaint.
Today, though, she just decided to clean her room. She threw out garbage, put a bag of almonds which had been in there for a week in the kitchen cabinet, and generally tidied. Once I noticed what she was doing, I quietly asked Brian if he had asked her to clean her room. He hadn't. She just wanted to do it. Family is coming tomorrow, so she just thought it was the right thing to do all on her own. I'm so proud I could cry.
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